Perils of Being Avoidant

There's no debating that enrolling in a new campus and course can be very perilous. Follow Rifli as he navigates his way through a new class and culture that can be quite mind-boggling!

There’s no debating that enrolling in a new campus and course can be very perilous. Follow Rifli as he navigates his way through a new class and culture that can be quite mind-boggling!

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that
survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change
.” – Charles Darwin

I experienced a totally reflective and mind-wrecking journey when I came across this quote and was harshly slapped by it. Throughout the majority of my life, I have upheld the principle of being nice to everyone. As such I do consciously choose to evade debates, conflicts, and everything confrontational in our social realm. With such a headstrong mindset of wanting to be avoidant toward everything, believing that it could actually solve a problem and it is allowing me to become more of a “people-pleaser”, I knew that it would not fit me well in the long-term and it is not the constructive solution to adapt toward changes.

I learned this point of view intrinsically when I was “a little bit” overwhelmed by the circling debate in the Philosophy class at the University of California, Davis. I didn’t get the essence of the rebuttals from my classmates and it frustrated me. But I came to realise that, during this weekly occurrence, it re-evaluated my way of thinking — of how this discourse should be deemed “critical” and “beneficial” to our personal and collective growth as individuals.

Conflicts, arguments, debates, and discourses — these are the things that we should treasure as
something positive in the academic realm. I realise that this is not a new epiphany, but as a (now retired) “people pleaser”, where everything will be better when conflicts are lessened and avoided, it’s
actually not a healthy way to overcome the roadblocks to some extent. Philosophy class at UC Davis taught me what to do when faced with debates, especially at the final examination that was packaged in a debate form. The existence of debates is a sign of disruption which means there is someone who is trying their best to maintain their ethics, values, and rules — and this is a healthy thing (in the most deductive sense)! The class also affirmed to me that we should be aware of our arguments constructed by logical thinking and it was wonderful to be reminded as our notions should be substantial to be delivered responsibly.

Through this chance, I learned put emphasis that the process of evolving is the moment when you are honest with yourself. When you are authentic to your original opinion without thinking further about the majority’s vote. The originality of our way of thinking is something that should be bravely appreciated. The culture of speaking up even though we need to face millions of contrarians is a good thing as long as we uphold our significant truth and rational calculation, but note that it doesn’t mean we should not be open to people’s opinions as well. Changes will exist when there is a conflict that actually could fill one another’s blind spot in fulfilling every plus-minus.

The Fall Quarter’s cruise at the University of California, Davis taught me every of my distinctive opinion and expression. There will be always contrasting views from people, but I promise that I won’t be avoidant again from such a life phenomenon since that is the sign to elicit a tremendous change and be firm that you also have your voice to be considered on the floor.

Created by: Moh. Rifli Mubarak

Rifli is a third-year law student at Universitas Hasanuddin who is devoted to the realm of legal research, and academic writing. Rifli also has various notions of contributions through scientific journals. Aside from working as a legal researcher, he’s also an active author and public speaker who has attended numerous international and national events as an invited speaker which involve global youths as the participants..

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